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- How food service workers manipulate you
(Read time: 2 minutes)
I was walking home from the gym the other day when I saw something I’d never seen before…
Bench press had me feeling hungry, so I decided to stop by the grocery store.
Now if you’ve lived downtown in any populous city, you know how it is.
You can always find someone outside, sign in hand, hoping for some spare change.
But this time was different.
As I walked up, I saw a bum. But this guy wasn’t just sitting there…
This guy was smart.
He was holding the door open for me.
I couldn’t help but smile as I walked in. And on the way out, I felt compelled to give back to him somehow.
He did this for everyone.
I noticed he even had people purposely AVOIDING going into his door so they could dodge the feeling of social debt.
That right there is the power of Reciprocity.
We’ve been culturally programmed to want to give back to people when they give to us first.
And if you can tap into the psychological circuitry that's laying deep inside our brains…
You're going to make money hand over fist.
Reciprocity Bias – It's Everywhere
Reciprocity is hardwired into our brains, and it's everywhere:
The server dropping off mints with your check
Free samples of Cinnabon at the mall
“Give value first” prospecting
Cialdini, the godfather of influence, puts it this way:
"People are more willing to say yes to us if we have first given them something that benefits them, that allows them to do a better job at whatever they want to achieve."
In other words, when you give first, people feel a sense of gratitude and obligation to give back.
It's like social karma on steroids.
Now, before you go around giving free stuff to everyone…
Let's talk about the #1 reciprocity mistake:
Giving with the expectation of something in return.
It sounds counterintuitive, but the moment you start feeling entitled to something in return, you've lost the game.
You’ll start to build resentment, wonder why it’s not working, and people will feel the negative energy.
Cialdini suggests a mindset shift:
From "Who can help me the most?" to "Whom can I help the most?"
Give first, give generously, and give without expectation. Create a cycle of goodwill and ultimately everyone benefits.
-Andrew
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